In Rapid Pursuit

Control Freak. . . Who, me?

Posted on: October 23, 2007

I am not so good at setting boundaries.  That is a really nice way of saying that I am a control freak.  I can admit it.  And, up until now, that has pretty much worked for me.  But, now I am realizing that all the busy-ness does is keep you from dealing with the real stuff.  It’s a coping mechanism.  Keep your time filled and your brain filled with details and you don’t have to think about the big issues.  You don’t have to worry about the problem that you know if creeping it’s way forward.

So, today, I took the first step.  I actually said I needed some time off.  Now, that is not really revolutionary to some of you.  But, for me, it is.  And, I don’t mean time off from work and being a dentist.  I mean time off from the stuff that I have crammed into my life.  Time off from the choices I have made.  And, I am already wondering if it was the right thing to do.

Let’s be clear what that sentence really means.  I know that it means that I am just afraid of what the time will actually bring.  What feelings will it uncover?  What things will I have to deal with that I have just been avoiding?  It’s a scary place for a control freak.  And, if I am honest, part of me is nervous that the world will find out it can exist without me.  What is that all about????

 Well, we will soon find out.  One of my goals for 2008 is to devote some time to myself.  At 37, I think it is about time that I figure out just who I am and what it is that I want to do with my life.  That is a scary journey for me, but also exciting!  Have you started thinking about the new year?  Any goals?

8 Responses to "Control Freak. . . Who, me?"

Good Morning Tracy,

I like your idea, and I am afraid I am guilty also
of not taking any time for myself. It is good to
spend a day doing nothing or just spending time with
God.

And if the world gets along without us, that is not
so bad, it was never might to spin around us anyways.

Have a good day with you and yourself.

Joan.

PS Maybe you could try a few of Watzlawick’s exercises

Tracy – I guess this means that you won’t be interested in helping to start a study club. My goal for 2008 is to somehow see if I can’t make the “blogroll” of your website. I’m extremely upset that Dana is there but I’m not. What does he have that I don’t?

Think about that study club.

Tom

“What does he have that I don’t”. . . . A BLOG!!

Now let’s not be a smart a#@. I might just start one tonight.

I’ve got some great ideas of what you can do with all the extra time you’re going to have after you stop some of your previous obligations.

When are you going to come see me?

How about turning wooden bowls and vessels on a lathe. Of the 942 diversions I have had from dentistry over the years this one is the most satisifying. Good hands are a prerequisite and as I remember you qualify.

I like the wooden bowls idea. Along that same line, I have found the art of stacking rock to be very freeing and therapeutic (and I’m not being funny). Up North, on the beaches of the Cape Cod area, it is not at all unusual to see rock formations that almost appear to be levitating on their very pointed edges – kind of like Cirque de Soleil for rock.

Yes, Tracy, I know exactly what you mean. Just last night I told someone my New Year’s Resolution for ’08 is to be “underbooked” on the private side. With my father dying in the Spring, we have been cleaning out, and cleaning out my mother’s attic and basement all summer and fall. We finally had the big yard sale and it wore us out. I was also in charge of my 480-member class reunion, so I am really enjoying doing some little things. But enough about me…whose blog is this, anyway 🙂

I forgot. I hope that my resolution does better than a few years ago when Shore and I resolved to START smoking. Never got around to it. We wanted to be able to have that STOP smoking resolution the next year, but it didn’t apply so we had to throw something less weighty in that year like “keep the spices alphabetized” or something.

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