In Rapid Pursuit

Is the dream alive?

Posted on: December 28, 2007

Is your childhood dream still alive?

I am really not sure anyone’s is. I was with friends tonight and we ended the night saying that we never thought our lives would be the way they are at almost 40. Well, they are over 40, but I am giving them the edge!!!

So, one of the girls was married for many years and has been divorced now for many years. She never had children and has just now gotten closure from a marriage that she was probably never really happy in. Her job is going great. She is working on being content with herself.

One of the girls has recently gotten divorced. She is in the middle of a dark time in her life. She is totally wanting to check out of life. Now, she isn’t suicidal, but she is using anything she can as a coping mechanism. That includes prescription and over-the-counter drugs. We talked about that tonight for the first time and it was hard. She got married at a young age and she is now having to figure out exactly who she is without her husband. She is working on being content with herself.

And, then there’s me. I think I pretty much appear to have it together. I like it that way. But, it isn’t really the case. I have never longed to be in a relationship until recently. I have never longed to have kids, but now that my time is coming to an end, is that a mistake? I have a TON of debt, business and personal. I love my job, but I am behind on bills. I need to lose some weight. . . a lot of weight. And, I am working on being content with myself.

One of the girls said tonight, “If I was still a guidance counselor, I would start some program to tell girls the truth.” We laughed, but that was brilliant. I know I heard that life is hard. I know I knew that people had problems. But, from the outside looking in, everyone appeared to have it together at my age. And, I thought I would to. I don’t. I just had that it took me this long to realize that most people don’t. Did anyone ever tell you that?

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