In Rapid Pursuit

No More Church!

Posted on: January 4, 2009

OK, so here’s the story.  I have stopped writing this blog because I found myself not being really honest.  I found myself trying to filter my feelings and everything I said.  I found myself being less than I wanted to be.

What’s the point of that?  I mean, real community can’t ever be created on filtered conversation.  So, I have decided to take the gloves off and be totally honest.

I am starting by being honest about the fact that I started this year off the way I have spent most of my life. . . without church.

Church has never really been a safe place for me.  I grew up going out of obligation and have only started going again within the last 5 years.  I was hoping it would be different.  I was hoping I would be different.  I am, it wasn’t.  Don’t misunderstand me, though.  I AM NOT PERFECT!!

I am going to begin telling you my journey with church.  What you should know is that I don’t want to feel this way.  I don’t want to think that the way we are doing church is really broken.  I want to feel the real community that people talk about in church.

So, I am not giving up forever. . . just for now.  I am hoping that you guys can help me with this journey.  It is a journey.  I do need help.  I do want your feedback.  I am aware that the church is people and we are all imperfect.  I am just trying to understand it all!

I will start the story tomorrow.  For now, you should know that I am reading the Bible daily.  I haven’t done that before.  I actually feel closer to God than I did when I was serving in the church.  

That’s weird for me, but I am going to be honest!

4 Responses to "No More Church!"

Tracy, I’m praying for you girl! I’m supporting you in your endevors, and heard some things this weekend about worjship arts, etc. Maybe some time you can fill me in (if you want). If you ever need to talk, let me know. I’m always and forever your friend no matter what path you take! ~Shawn~

Thanks for the prayers, Shawn. No big story that needs to be told, really. It’s hard to lead people in worship when your heart is not in the right place. My heart is definitely not in the right place. I’m working on it, though!

Hi Girl,

We are very proud of you and glad you are our friend
love your honesty and will continue to pray for you.
and when you needs us we are there.

Tracy!

I just wanted to say I’ve been where you are and so I’m praying (and believing) that you will find your way to the truth you are seeking….whatever that may look like.

I also want to encourage you to join us for the spring round of III:Text. We just finished another incredible round and begin the new one shortly. We missed you and want you back!!!

Much Love,

PBaird

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