No More Church!

Posted by: tracyedwards on: January 4, 2009

• In: Uncategorized
• 4 Comments

OK, so here’s the story.  I have stopped writing this blog because I found myself not being really honest.  I found myself trying to filter my feelings and everything I said.  I found myself being less than I wanted to be.

What’s the point of that?  I mean, real community can’t ever be created on filtered conversation.  So, I have decided to take the gloves off and be totally honest.

I am starting by being honest about the fact that I started this year off the way I have spent most of my life. . . without church.

Church has never really been a safe place for me.  I grew up going out of obligation and have only started going again within the last 5 years.  I was hoping it would be different.  I was hoping I would be different.  I am, it wasn’t.  Don’t misunderstand me, though.  I AM NOT PERFECT!!

I am going to begin telling you my journey with church.  What you should know is that I don’t want to feel this way.  I don’t want to think that the way we are doing church is really broken.  I want to feel the real community that people talk about in church.

So, I am not giving up forever. . . just for now.  I am hoping that you guys can help me with this journey.  It is a journey.  I do need help.  I do want your feedback.  I am aware that the church is people and we are all imperfect.  I am just trying to understand it all!

I will start the story tomorrow.  For now, you should know that I am reading the Bible daily.  I haven’t done that before.  I actually feel closer to God than I did when I was serving in the church.  

That’s weird for me, but I am going to be honest!