In Rapid Pursuit

I have a problem!

Posted on: January 7, 2009

SHOCKER!  It’s not, however, what you might think it is.

I have a problem with honesty.  That doesn’t mean telling the truth, but being honest about my feelings, letting people inside this wall that I have very effectively built around myself.

Here’s the thing.  I get that I don’t let people in.  I get that I am afraid of relationships.  I get that it’s why I am single.  I get that it’s why I am overweight.

It’s a protection mechanism.

I have given myself away.  I given everything I have.  It has typically backfired in the past.

I don’t want that to be the present or the future!

I am trying really hard to work stuff out now, though, and be honest.  Let you in on my feelings and my reality.

Notice I said MY reality.  It’s real for me.  It’s how I feel.

It sucks to be in this place.  It sucks to want to be part of the solution and feel like you are part of the problem.

My prayer is that God will guide me through this journey and give me strength and wisdom.

I don’t want to build a thicker wall!

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