I need a break! May 15, 2008

I have been gone for a while. DUH!!! You see, I need a break. I mean a real break. Not one of those “go-away-for-work-or-church” kind of breaks. I mean a vacation.

I am getting that this weekend, sort of!

My cousin is getting married and I am staying at the beach. It is going to be tons of fun and relaxation. Just what I need.

Now, never mind that I never thought my cousin that is 15 years younger than me is getting married before I am. I am not obsessing over that. No sir, not me. I am going to enjoy it!

I had a hard week last week. So hard, in fact, that I am not sure that I want to lead worship any more. I am not sure that is what God is calling me to do.

And, I am wondering how we are ever sure. I mean, this would be a lot easier if God would just ring my mobile and give me a clue!

That’s just it. God has been gently sending me signs that this might not be it. And, last week, he sent me a huge one. So, now I am trying to figure out if that is what that meant or if it was just someone who is unhappy with life trying to make everyone else that way.

I learned tons, though. I learned that I hope, in life, I am constructive with my criticism, not destructive. I learned that friendship means more to some people than to others. I learned that you can still have fun when there are shadows lurking. I learned that I love teenagers and kids.

So, there’s a lot to sift through. And, I plan to plant myself right in the middle of that lovely picture with a glass of wine and do just that. Sift through my stuff. Wonder how long that will take?!?

Friends? May 7, 2008

Do you think Bart knows we should be friends?  He totally cracks me up!!!

 

 

Celebrate good times, come on! May 5, 2008

 

Happy Cinco de Mayo!!!

 

I totally love holidays!  It gives me an excuse to hang with friends and even meet new ones.  Today has been a day full of that.

 

I worked today on my new friend, Bush!  It was as much fun as a trip to the dentist can be.  NO SMART COMMENTS!!  We did a couple of crowns and a filling and there is more to come before he can go off into the depths of summer camp with Spur58. He brought his friend, Clay, too. I would love to hang out with these guys when there was not dental business to do!!

 

I actually loved today!  I love meeting new people and helping them.  I feel like I am functioning in my element when I am doing that.  Meeting Bush made me want to meet his wife.  I can tell he is a kind, soft-spoken, caring guy.  That makes me think that his wife has to be awesome!  Hopefully I will get to meet her on a trip to Tennessee, or she will get to come here at some point.  I have a feeling the new baby might get in the way of that any time soon, though.

 

After work, I celebrated Cinco de Mayo with my closest friends.  That is always fun.  They are the ones who know me the best and the ones that I can always count on.  I don’t ever feel like I have to put on a front for them.  And, if I did, they would totally call me out!!  So, margaritas, politics, religion, and a lot of honesty.  That makes for a great night!!

Missed me? May 1, 2008

I haven’t written in a while.  And, I am pretty sure that somewhere in that last post I promised a little more authenticity around here.

Maybe that’s what has scared me.

I don’t open up that easily.  I have been trying for a while now.  Some days, it works.  Others. . . not so much.  I think that’s normal.  Please say it is!  I have come to realize, however, that you really can’t have true, meaningful relationships without authenticity.  Maybe that’s why I am single, huh?!?

Now, I am not talking about the whole spill-your-life-story-as-soon-as-you-meet-me type thing.  I am just talking about really opening up and being vulnerable.

Recently I realized that most of the people I have been vulnerable with in my life have really let me down.  It happened again with a really good friend.  With her, it’s like you can only get so close then she’s had enough.  Time to move on to another “friend.”  And, maybe that’s her issue.  But, I have missed her and her family.  I have missed our talks.  I have missed our time together.  And, I have missed being comfortable opening up to someone.

I am wondering if I have been so busy that I haven’t made our friendship a priority.  I am wondering if my expectations of a friend are too high.  I am wondering if it is just easier to “keep it on the surface” and nothing more.

So, I have been silent on this blog.  I would love to say that I have used that silence as a time to reflect, draw close to God. . . you know the speech.  I haven’t.  I have used the time to do just what I am not supposed to do.  I have busied myself so that I wouldn’t have to deal with it or think about it.

That’s another issue!!!

Being an adult is not fun! April 21, 2008

Why is it that, as adults, we aren’t as creative as kids?

That’s a question we talked about for a while at our youth group last night and it struck me as so interesting.

As kids, our imaginations run wild. We write the craziest stories and draw the craziest pictures. And, we are so proud of them. We are not afraid to try different types of creative things. We write, draw, paint, color, sing, play and instrument. . . you get the point.

Somewhere along the way, however, our creativity becomes stifled.

They start to rank us in order or skills if we play an instrument. Our writing is for a grade and not for fun. Our painting is critiqued by an art teacher. We have to audition for the school play.

As I look back on things, I have been creative my whole life. And, as I lead worship and help with the weekend services I still try to be creative. But, it is stifling! Adults aren’t aloud to dream big. We aren’t allowed to even think about the “what ifs” without our ideas being thrown down.

It’s sad, really.

That’s one of the things I love about working with our youth pastor, Jarm Turner. No matter how big, crazy, or expensive your idea is, his initial reaction is usually “How can we make that work”? That’s awesome!! Now, some of these dreams might not ever make it to reality, but the fact that he gives you the space to see if they can is so valuable!

How creative do you feel in your life? Is there someone that let’s you dream big, paint messy, color with crayons or sing at the top of your off-pitch voice?

Go ahead. . . let me have it! April 18, 2008

OK, I know I am going to take some hits for this.  I went to see Joel O’Steen tonight.

 

Are you through?  Now. . . let me proceed!

 

I was asked to go hear Joel O’Steen tonight by a friend of mine.  Now, keep in mind that this is the friend who originally asked me to start going back to church.  She, however, is not totally sold out yet.  And, she love to hear Joel.  So, I was up for it.

 

Now I really prayed about this.  I prayed that my heart would be open to his message.  I prayed that my negativity about him would go away.  I prayed that I could be a positive support for my friend.

 

Guess what. . . it worked!  I was not totally turned off by his message.  And, he said some things that deeply affected me tonight.  Hopefully you will hear more about that on this blog, but I have to pray up about that as well.  I have a problem with spewing my issues, but I think I am going to have to get over that and be authentic.  AHHHHHHH!!  That scares me more than anything.

 

And let me just tell you, folks.  If Joel can get authenticity out of me, anything is possible!!

 

I have lots of take-aways from the night, but I am going to sit with one for a while.  And that is that we should not magnify our problems, but instead, magnify God.  DUH!  I know that.  Now, however, I am going to start doing it.

I have a crush! April 15, 2008

This post is part of “Positive Post Tuesday” over at my friend, Brody’s blog.  And, even though I am talking about his family, he didn’t pressure me a bit.  But, in the interest of full disclosure, I will tell you he and Kristin gave up their bed for me this weekend.  I have to be nice for a little while!!!

 

I have the most generous friends!  I was in Nashville this weekend and had the best time hanging with my friends Brody and Kristin.  Then, we added Daley to the mix.  It is such a weird thing to “know” people through a blog and then get to meet them and hang out.

 

But, the point of this post is not to tell you how awesome Brody and Kristin are for letting me stay at their house this weekend.  It’s not to tell you that Daley’s photos are amazing and that I wish I had a reason to have some super-rock-star photos of myself, but I don’t.  It’s not even to tell the story about how Kristin backed into my rental car this morning.  No damage, LOL!!!!  The point of this post is to tell you that I am totally in love with Brody and Kristin’s kids.

 

They have the most amazing boys!  

 

Blue is a 5-year-old Guitar Hero genius.  He is full of energy and the best “I spy” player in the world.  His eyes will amaze you and his smile is contagious.

 

Aiden is the most sensitive and sweet child I have seen in a while.  He can melt you with one look and I don’t think he knows that.  This could be dangerous!  He is completely into music and the iPod.  He listened to it for hours.  That could come in handy!

 

And, Cooper is the baby.  He is fighting for attention in the crowd and winning the battle.  His sweet disposition and dimples are a winning combination!

 

So, there you have it.  I could go on and on, but let’s just say I am totally in love!!!  I am holding all of the men in my future to these standards.  They will be totally hard to beat!

 

My friends need help! April 14, 2008

Clearly, Shaun Groves is suffering!  I mean, he has all this free time on his hands.  You would think that he would be busy being a husband, Dad, and soft rock star.  Apparently not!

 
You see, Shaun and Bush stayed at my house for a night.  Don’t fret. . . I was in Nashville.  But, out of the goodness of my heart, I let them drive my car and stay at my house.  That’s what friends are for, right?

 
Well, clearly, they had a lot of time on their hands.

 
It has been mentioned that I might be a little anal.  OK, a lot.  I can admit it.  And, I am single.  So, it’s not like I keep a ton of stuff in my fridge.  Mostly drinks.  And, I like for them to be organized.  I like for them to be in rows, evenly spaced, with the labels all facing forward.  Imagine how I felt when I came home from my trip to find this.

 

 

That’s right, folks.  Shaun thought he was being funny.  Clearly, however, I can see that it is a cry for help.  This music thing must not be keeping him busy.  So, if you need a soft rock star to play some music at your church, let me know and I will put you in touch with him.

 

I mean, with this much time on his hands, I may have to give his family a permanent place to live if the music business doesn’t pick up!!

 

By the way, I hold Bush in no way responsible.  From the brief time we met, I could tell he was a nice guy.  I am sure he was pleading with Shaun to leave things as he found them.  He should really re-think this whole being-on-the-road-with-him thing!

I love this town! April 11, 2008

Can I just say, for the record, that I love me some Nashville!

I have had the best day. And, I know that part of it is that I am totally away from work, home, friends, and all of my responsibilities. And, you would be right. I love nothing more than to escape. As a matter of fact, today I came up with a plan for when I would get my dental license in Tennessee and exactly why I needed it. I can justify anything.

Part of my day, however, included a trip to the Frist Center for the Visual Arts to see an exhibit called “Monet to Dali: Modern Masters from the Cleveland Museum of Art. It rocked!!

I am always amazed at the genius that artists have. The diversity of the paintings and their lives is so interesting. I fancy myself a painter, sort of, but nothing like this. It made me wonder. . .

Do we have any artists today that we consider brilliant? Who will the world look back on in hundreds of years to exhibit this period in time?

It must have been so amazing to live in a place and time when the arts were coming to life and happening all around you. That is exactly what I felt as I walked around downtown today. So much energy and enthusiasm.

I could totally live here!!!

Bad luck? April 11, 2008

So, I am in this little coffee shop in Nashville waiting out the storm.

That’s right, folks.  I said storm.  Let me be more specific.  There is a tornado warning here.

What’s the deal?  I can’t take another tornado!  So, I am waiting it out.

To be honest, the tornado warning is for west of here, but it is pouring down rain.  And, I love the rain.  It is so soothing.  The sound, the rhythm.  I love it.  It was great to sleep in this morning with no interruptions from my dog, who I love very much.  But, her kisses at 6:00 were not missed today.

So, this might be all of my excitement for today.  And, it has been great!  I will have to connect with Shaun sometime to get my keys back.  Go ahead and start praying that I can find my car at the airport on Monday.  I have a feeling I will need God’s help!!  Tomorrow I have my vocal coaching and then will head to hang with Brody and Kristin.

Hopefully this tornado won’t end up like the last one!!